2009/01/06

『史老大的那封信』

跟 賓拉登 和 麻原彰晃 對信徒們的演說一樣地振奮人心啊!


大概是外頭的風聲太機車
史老大今天發表了一封公開信

『小鵝不負責翻譯社』為了廣大的中文蘋果信眾們
特別由社長兼撞鐘的小鵝下海翻譯
讓大家可以不用到加州也能感受太平洋那頭教主史老大無遠弗屆的親切~


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January 5, 2009

Letter from Apple CEO Steve Jobs

公元貳零零玖年 壹月 伍日

教主史老大的一封信



Dear Apple Community,

For the first time in a decade, I’m getting to spend the holiday season with my family, rather than intensely preparing for a Macworld keynote.

Unfortunately, my decision to have Phil deliver the Macworld keynote set off another flurry of rumors about my health, with some even publishing stories of me on my deathbed.

我親愛的蘋果信眾們:

幾百年來,老子我第一次可以放假的時候不用忙著搞佈道大會的演說,只要在家裏光屁股蹺腳陪老婆小孩就好。
( 大闊呆 Phil 靠腰:『俺的聖誕新年假期啊...... 嗚...... 』)

很不幸的是,我決定把大闊呆給推進火坑裡,很多人居然因為這樣就想把我推進地獄裡。
( 大闊呆 Phil 靠腰:『那些文章不是俺寫的......』)



I’ve decided to share something very personal with the Apple community so that we can all relax and enjoy the show tomorrow.

我決定把我的私秘生活公開,這樣明天我們就可以一起輕鬆地在家光屁股蹺腳看大闊呆在台上唱歌跳舞。


As many of you know, I have been losing weight throughout 2008. The reason has been a mystery to me and my doctors. A few weeks ago, I decided that getting to the root cause of this and reversing it needed to become my #1 priority.

大家都知道,貳零零捌年我什麼都沒做就甩掉了身上不少的肥油。我的醫生團跟我都因此困擾到長不出頭髮來。所以幾個禮拜以前,我決定放下一切來好好地搞清楚自己是怎麼辦到的!
( 大闊呆 Phil 摸著肚子靠腰:『俺比你們還想知道啊......』)



Fortunately, after further testing, my doctors think they have found the cause—a hormone imbalance that has been “robbing” me of the proteins my body needs to be healthy. Sophisticated blood tests have confirmed this diagnosis.

The remedy for this nutritional problem is relatively simple and straightforward, and I’ve already begun treatment. But, just like I didn’t lose this much weight and body mass in a week or a month, my doctors expect it will take me until late this Spring to regain it. I will continue as Apple’s CEO during my recovery.

非常幸運地,進一步地檢查之後,我的醫生團知道為什麼了!應該是我的內分泌失調,然後把身體裡頭讓我頭好壯壯的蛋白質給搞丟了。後來又搞了一狗票連我這科技教主都不是很懂的血液檢查,確定他們想的的確沒有錯!

治療這個鳥病的方法簡單到歪掉,我也早就開始做啦!不過,我的醫生團希望我像當初慢慢瘦下來一樣地慢慢胖回來。所以,今天春天結束時,你們又可以看到胖嘟嘟的我。這段時間,無論是 Jony Ive 或 Tim Cook 都別想摸我那張教主的椅子!



I have given more than my all to Apple for the past 11 years now. I will be the first one to step up and tell our Board of Directors if I can no longer continue to fulfill my duties as Apple’s CEO. I hope the Apple community will support me in my recovery and know that I will always put what is best for Apple first.

老子我過去拾壹年來,把命都賣給了蘋果。假如老子真的不幹了,高爾那群傢伙會先知道。各位信眾們,請相信我絕對是以蘋果為重,並請在我康復的這段日子裡全心支持我們公司的股票跟產品。


So now I’ve said more than I wanted to say, and all that I am going to say, about this.

Steve

好囉!屁太多了,不講啦!

你們的史老大


啾~♥


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〖 後記 〗

這封信在蘋果總壇的官網上公佈之後
星期一美股開盤 AAPL 的股價整個他逆勢上漲
前幾個禮拜有逢低買進的投資人都爽到翻掉!

10 則留言:

  1. decade 是指十年,不是几百年啦。

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  2. 您的翻譯讓我看的樂不可支 重點有提到 那口氣也有夠嗆的
    給你一個GP

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  3. 把 decade 翻作幾百年來,只是為了誇張一點而已吧 :)

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  4. 啊哈哈....
    翻譯的不錯(有夠不負責)
    多謝

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  5. 文章內容意思到就好
    細節就不必太在乎啦
    哈哈!

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  6. To: [ 俠客 ]
    >> decade 是指十年,不是几百年啦。
    >

    感謝您的指教,
    不過正如 Chun 前輩所言,
    小鵝將 decade 譯為幾百年只是為了加強喜感所做的不負責翻譯,
    有許多內容乃是源自於台灣的本土的習慣語法。

    希望大家開心就好~ :D

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  7. 這樣會讓人懷疑weDict的功效耶 orz

    知名不具

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  8. To: [ 寬寬 ]

    謝謝老顧客長久以來的支持~ :D

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  9. 不愧是亂翻。(黑色幽默?)

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